My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
