It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize