You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
