he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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