I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
