You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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