All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
