I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
