yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
