Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
