It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just found puke in my bra..
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
