Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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