He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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