yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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