he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
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