she was so not down for the gang bang
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
