Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
