If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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