I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
