About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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