I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
