dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
