it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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