we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
