he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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