Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
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