When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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