He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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