It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
