He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize