did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
