I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
