Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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