I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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