so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize