So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
