I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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