how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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