whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize