does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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