the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
