But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
