I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
