Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
