the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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