Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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