Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
