Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
