If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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