I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
