She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
