so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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