Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
