The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
