Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
