Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
