escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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