Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
