I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
