i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
