I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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