lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize