They should really pass out barf bags in church
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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