i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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