doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
