im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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