actually, I'm a sock model
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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