toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So vagazzling was a success
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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