sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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