If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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