weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
