I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
