I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
