a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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