Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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