I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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