Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
