don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
