I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
